Children thrive in a two-parent household; unfortunately, many couples today find that they can no longer stay married. Although both the husband and the wife must work to strengthen and build their marriage so they can provide a stable home environment for their children, there are several things that men can do to avoid divorce. Learning to preserve your marriage can help prevent many of the issues that can arise from a divorce. Check out these tips from the best family law attorney in Houston.
Divorce-proofing your marriage will only take a few hours each week. The following tips are not difficult, and they can easily be incorporated into your marriage and family.
First things first, you must decide that you will banish all thoughts of divorce from your mind. If you or your spouse think that you would be better outside of the marriage, it can inhibit your motivation to stay together. By agreeing with your spouse that divorce is not an option will help you focus on keeping your marriage together rather than dreaming of escaping your marriage.
Although your spouse may have changed over the course of your marriage, they still deserve honor and respect. Remember that your wife is an amazing person and a part of your family. Make a list of the things that you love about her as well as the qualities that she possesses that made you fall in love with her when you were first dating. This one activity can help strengthen your marriage more than you could ever realize.
There is no substitute for communication in a marriage. You need to take time to talk regularly about the things that matter to both you and your wife. Women experience intimacy differently than men. When you take the time to openly discuss your interests, dreams, expectations and all aspects of your lives together, you will further enhance your intimacy with your wife.
Family therapists and the best family law attorneys in Houston agree that husbands and wives should spend at least thirty minutes each day talking with one another. Effective communication is one of the bests ways you can strengthen your marriage.
One of the things that can fracture a marriage is finances. Oftentimes, a man and a woman have different expectations when it comes to money. Agreeing on how the family finances are handled is one of the most important things you can do to strengthen your marriage. Set aside a time to develop a budget that both of you can agree upon. This budget should include how you will handle your debts as well as learning how to live within your limits. You need to determine how both of you will differentiate wants and needs and how to ensure the needs of both you and your wife are met.
Another thing that can cause stress within the marriage is the amount of time each person wants to spend with the other. Spending too much time together can feel smothering while spending too little time together can make your spouse feel like you are being inattentive. If your wife says she needs some space or wants to hang out with her friends, let her. If she wants to spend more time with you, make yourself available. It is important to sit down and talk about each other’s expectations if the time spent apart becomes greater than the time spent together.
Another common problem facing marriages is when a spouse begins to quit taking care of themselves. Make sure to look good for your spouse. This includes showering and shaving even on the weekends, taking time to exercise and eating a healthy diet. Not taking care of yourself physically and allowing yourself to gain weight can be a big turnoff. If you take better care of yourself and try to look your best, so will your wife.
If you want to keep the spark in your marriage, you must continually court your wife. Make time for her, go on a date with her, even if it is just slipping away for an hour to grab a bite to eat or have a coffee together. In addition to this, leaving your wife love notes, bring her flowers or even telling her how beautiful she looks can go a long way towards strengthening your marriage.
When you are married to someone, an argument can occur. If this happens, it is imperative that you forgive the other spouse immediately. Holding a grudge or being angry with your spouse can fracture a marriage. Learn to say I am sorry and truly forgive will help keep your marriage strong.
Never try to control your partner and always make sure that you disclose any friendships with the opposite sex. Remember, your wife is doing her very best to be the best mom and spouse she can be. If you think she is overexerted, try to lend a hand with some household chores or with childcare to help give her some time to herself. Offer to clean up the kitchen after dinner and get the kids ready for bed while she goes and takes a long, hot, relaxing bath.
If, after trying these tips, you are still having difficulties, consider going to couples counseling. Many workplaces offer employee assistance programs (EAPs) where you can get immediate help and get referred to a counselor. If the two of you are religious, you can also speak to a member of the clergy for couples counseling.